A LITTLE BIT OF HOPE GOES A LONG WAY

I don’t normally post so late in the day, but sometimes its good to get things out as they happen, so…

It’s been a little better this week as far as anxiety goes. It still comes on like a wave of nausea and prickly heat from time to time though. I’m triggered by the smallest things: the trigger reminds me to feel sad, angry and afraid. Then, I find I am more angry that there is fear in my body. My internal toxic masculinity feels ashamed of being afraid. I was taught by this society that “fear” is a weak, “female,” stupid, wimpy, “unmanly” reaction to a situation, so my toxic masculinity reacts with disgust. You can surely see how easily that could become a loaded gun inside a human being if left unchecked and not dealt with. It’s a tesla coil of dread and shame. I understand it logically, and can soothe it for the most part, but these tides inside my body take a toll. I am so tired. Thankfully, my friend from Milwaukee reminded me today, while talking about being doxxed, that the presence of fear reminds her to care about her situation. She thinks of it like a light that goes on to remind her to care and to take care. I am so grateful, thanks to her I have a new path in and out of fear that is healthier, logical, non-female negative and less reactive. Thank you.

There are good things happening as well, like the other night in Allentown PA, the band and I had a really nice surprise visit from their mayor, Matt Tuerk, after the show. (https://www.mattformayor.org/bio is an old campaign link but has a really good bio) He was so hopeful and positive and he gave us a boost that we all really needed. I’ll do my best to share it with you here.

Matt walked in wearing a “I Heart A-Town” long sleeve tee and a happy smile. The band and I introduced ourselves and asked the obvious stupid questions about Billy Joel. “We just needed to get that out of the way,” I laughed. He told us a funny story about NPR coming over and getting folks to do a singalong of the song “Allentown,” which turned out semi-bizarre as the city is nothing like it was in 1982 when the song was released, which is a hopeful thing, but the song is actually quite an economic and existential bummer, making the situation delightfully awkward.

We asked real questions too about ICE invading our communities, November elections, and the obvious “what is the best way to make a difference against this horrible fascist machine?” Here are some answers he gave us, as well as some ideas I added in:

Fighting the Nazi machine?

-Calling your political reps is good, but emailing them is better. He points out a call can be ignored, but an email has to be read. (I am immediately knee-jerk skeptical of this because I don’t trust, but I am choosing to, because I want a way out of the darkness. An email IS legal evidence, so that makes logical sense.) He also says it is extremely effective to find out who the members of their staff are and contact them as well. That I did not know, and am taking it to heart.

-VOTE IN NOVEMBER!!! Matt firmly believes elections will happen this fall/winter of 2026 and we can take many fascist pillars out at the knee. He’s positively jubilant about it even… I’m so in.

-Do kind things and lovingly maintain yourself. The right wants us depleted and depressed and apathetic and disenfranchised. Of course they do! Take a page from my Milwaukee friend and take the CARE route. Outwardly love and check in on your friends, say hello to strangers, widen your circle of community, see/participate in music and art, celebrate even the smallest things, go down rabbit holes of what delights you for no good reason, indulge in any kind of beauty or silliness, etc. It is a real tactic that really works. It does not erase or disrespect the weight of the evil committed on human beings, or lessen how we honor humanity. The tactic bolsters our souls, which bolster our immune systems, which bolster our calm and our resolve to change the bad and to resist the corrupt, anti-human, anti-Earth agenda of fascists. Your intention is so powerful! And who of us wouldn’t benefit from some love and silliness? This is also good practice to remember how to treat ourselves and others around us like this all the time, not just in times of crisis.

To do re ICE?

-Donating to your small local orgs who are working to represent and fight for immigrants and other people being unlawfully targeted by ICE in your community. They desperately need help and resources. It may take a little research, but it is the least we can do.

-Here is a link to a non-violent day of action and solidarity with Minnesota this Friday, January 23rd. Find something going on in your area here. You can even create your own event!

-Again, vote in November! Not registered? Do it here in two minutes!

-Educate yourself about ICE activities and tactics. Here is a link to the Immigrant Defense Project where you can learn a LOT! There is information in English and Spanish.

That is a lot of good things! Take heart. The sun is out with a vengeance for a short hour here in cold Madison, and I’m sucking up every ray I can. I stretched and exercised in an effort to put my body and mind in a happier state, which is working a little more every day. Do the little things for yourself, they really do add up. Please share all things you are doing to help and cope here in the comments. No idea or activity is too small! Peace and love to every goddamned one of us! XO

P.S. Today is the one year anniversary of the death of my dear, sweet , huge-hearted friend, Diane Butler, whom I will talk more about in another post. She would be fighting so hard for us right now and still inspires me to do what I have to to stay strong every day. Viva Diane!

Today I met the badger at the Wisconsin State Capitol building in Madison. He said he believes in us, and despite his resting disapproval face, I believe him :)