SOOTHE THYSELF
Many songbirds are arriving like little construction crews. They are loud and busy. They boost my work ethic. Up and at work by 5am. I wonder how long I can keep this streak going? I’m supposed to be doing vocals in the studio but it’s time to take care of my neglected homestead and my not-so-neglected horses. There is horse dentistry and spring vet check up visits scheduled. Everything is made harder by the fact that my well goes out a lot. Today it was because I fucked up and did not monitor a load of towels in the inferior samsung washer I should never have bought. The springs are really weak and the loads go off balance then restart over and over, draining the well. I have back up water for the animals but not the humans. Ugh. I have been waiting for well service for over three years. Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive.Â
At least Norm’s vet/teeth visit went well. He didn’t need an extraction, just an industrial flush-out of some plant matter filled crevices and filing of a few sharp teeth points. Horse teeth are no joke. Norm likely has mites also as he is extra hairy due to Cushing's disease. Coming out of winter is hard on the old man. My poor beloved prehistoric yak… He’s a tough guy though. He’s just happy to comfortably chew again. That’s all a senior gelding wants! To chew freely and an occasional taint-scratch. The world is one big, bright summer’s day when you are getting your fuzzy taint scratched, I tell you… he can’t reach it on his own, you know.
Taking care of things balances me a bit. It feels good to be hands-on again post month-long absence from home. I just want to be useful. That’s my core. That’s where my intent is in everything I do. I want SO badly to be useful, to be helpful, to be effective. It can be a black hole that’s hard to fill. It’s hard to know what effect we have sometimes, especially as individuals.
What do you do to feel useful?
Norm gets the industrial power-rasp to smooth the sharpies. Don’t worry, he’s doped to the gills and feeling no pain. (Check out his beard!)
That photo that is so unexpected but so "of course that's how it would be." -!!!-thank you! I love reading about your life home and elsewhere. I'm finding myself stuck on your question. I often feel purposeful and that makes me feel content, but not sure if it's the same as feeling useful. I'm going to ponder more. xk
Check out YouTube videos for fixing the Samsung washer. Ours did the same thing but we repaired it ourselves. Sections of garden hose and zip ties on the springs did the trick.