TINY ADRENALINE WINDOW

Some days I go out into The Lung and I don’t connect, or at least I think I don’t. Some anxiety seems impossible to override. It's like pulling teeth to get myself out to walk the dogs, but it turns out that is always when I need it the most. No surprises there. This is how it’s been for the last week since I got home from my two-week work marathon – crabby and sore. My inner critic bitch-out voice on 10.

Today when I got up though, I watched the sun come up on a fresh snowy canvas of a morning. It was a small window of snow I can actually ski on, which has been so rare this winter, and it was only going to be 26 degrees for another hour. The snow would be gone by 10 a.m. I couldn’t get outside fast enough. 

The dogs were ecstatic. Much leaping and rolling ensued. I bolted up the hill on my skis for the sheer joy of going as fast as you can. I identify as a young person and it is nice to be reminded that I still am one. The snow was perfect – not too deep, cold enough to not be sticky and not too fast. I could pretend I was on a fast-moving sidewalk in the future. I swallowed up the monochromatic views of snowy trees, so cozy. I circled the back field like it was a race track. I feel good. What do you do to remind yourself you are very much alive? :)

Coco