I loved this. Thank you. As for the “eleventh hour,” I liken it somewhat to having a six speed transmission, only we’re missing gears 2 through 5. It takes a lot of work and much revving to get out of first and all the way into sixth. Procrastination and the stress it inevitably produces is one way to generate the necessary RPMs. But when we do manage to jam it into sixth, best get the hell out of our way!
I’m new here. The procrastination parts hit rather close to home, as it turns out. But my inspiration to comment is the font you’ve chosen as it’s easy on my surgically repaired retinas. So, thanks for that.
My favorite stories have always been about people without many resources making the best of it. The food prep scenes from Little House in the Big Woods and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn still send me into reverie.
I agree about the 'disorder' part being wrong. Same with my diagnosis, ASD. I think neurodivergence is more of a superpower than a deficit.
.... except for so many techbros, incels, megalomaniacs, billionaires who then extend their specialness to enact their inherent entitlement to DOMINATE, disrupt, destroy the lives of other living creatures .... patriarchy, class, gender privilege, misogyny always has to ruin things doesn't it?
Hi Neko. Huge fan since Furnace Room Lullaby. I was one of the drunk idiots at your show at the 7th Street Entry in like 1998 or '99. Youthful indiscretions, etc. ... Anyway, I've been thinking about you and your music a lot recently as I've been reading your memoir. It made me realize that I have devoured and connected with every one of your albums *except* The Worse Things Get ... I didn't dislike it -- it just didn't resonate with me ... until now.
I just finished the book (sorry about that whole Charlie Louvin experience!) and I listened to The Worse Things Get ... all the way through today. It hit me like a ton of bricks (sorry for the cliché -- it's the best way I knew to convey my reaction). I'd say that album is a perfect companion to your memoir -- which I'm guessing is why the book title was culled from that album. (?) Way back in 2013, I was dealing with my own mental health issues and I probably had my defenses up when I listened to it for the first time. I'm happy to say I'm in a better place now, and the perspective I've gained in the last 12 years has helped me approach that album with a different mindset.
I can't count the number of times in the last 24 hours that I've caught my breath while listening to those lyrics and fully realizing for the first time where they came from. I know people laud you for your voice, which obviously is amazing (and FWIW I think The Worse Things Get ... was you at your technical best). But I came away from this whole experience -- reading the book and then listening to the album -- filled with empathy for what you went through, and also filled with admiration for the way you dealt with it all. You have a unique gift of turning pain into beauty without erasing or understating the pain. I'm so glad that reading your book gave me new insight into an album that I once found a bit inscrutable ... but that's just a hint at what your music has meant to me. Thank you for being such an open book (no pun intended), for turning yourself inside out and putting all the viscera on display, in both the memoir and your music. The world is a better place with you doing what you do.
I have ADHD too. I also live in the last five minutes. Lately I’ve just let those minutes slip by, continuing on my journey to accomplishing nothing… successfully. Living in a constant state of chaos is like balancing on top of a barbed wire fence. You are never comfortable enough to succumb to the barbs but can’t escape it by organizing your life. At least that is my world right now. I’m hoping that Spring will bring about the frenzy it usually does for me where I have a million things going at the same time but not finishing any. I do think these types of life choices, or prisons of the mind, can be brought on by trauma… at least in my case. Still I find comfort in reading your posts knowing that I can stand in solidarity with you, completely understanding you, and rooting for you in all things. ❤️
Good looking tea, Neko! LOVE the smell of rosemary, it freshens up my Thought Castle.
I feel that to be able to create, I need the luxury of "error" time, not just the time necessary to finish a task, but the extra loose time that allows me to go back and forth on ideas - and that time doesn't exist for me when the world is still happening outside, that's why I create (and even function) better when the outside world is quiet, no external demands, no daily business hours deadlines - so usually past 8pm.
I dont have ADHD but do have similar symptoms from PTSD, it's a hyperalert thing.
I am in dire need of help organizing. I feel like it's a real missing piece for me. I'm trying but there is just SO MUCH to organize. Also that concoction looks great. Recipe? Also, I can't wait to see what your making and I'm dying to know the title of the album. All in good time, I know! xox
Have you heard of the acronym "INCUP"? Motivating factors for people with adhd brains - interest, novelty, challenge, urgency and passion. So procrastination creates urgency and then we're good to go (mostly; depends on what other more interesting, dopamine-inducing activities are competing for my attention, sometimes I'll have to "mine" those extensively first).
Love your "mind palace" analogy. Hi from New Zealand <3
And again, Neko, you express thoughts and feelings and experiences that are familiar to me...I always feel a little less alone when I check in with you. Thanks.
Depends on if the task ahead is fun or not fun…in the fun case I just go ahead and continue to do the stuff basically without sleep if possible…if it’s not fun then I’m basically cleaning the house or fixing something. Pretty much avoiding the task until there’s no more time and I have to do it.
That tea looks delicious. I make ginger/tumeric/cardemom milk in the evenings 🤤.
My mom used to do great stuff out of nothing as well! My favourite thing was this ”city” we made out of milk cartons. 😊
Hi Neko, just another interruption in way of reply, one of the things that strikes me about your writing is the strands that connect us all as humans, I find myself nodding in agreement then shaking no that's not like me. I trust in these connections in my core gut centre being. Our family creed was make do, and I do follow that mostly but value tools that actually work, Jenny used to come home and find I had painted the walls or shifted furniture, once the idea hit I just had to do it.
I hope you are loving that warm tea, it's Womad weekend in Adelaide and therefore stinking hot.
My daughter is there tonight and I expect a call to pick her up.
This post got me thinking about how I will push myself to meet a deadline for work, but never my own promises to myself - to finally build that garden, or to pick up where I left off on teaching myself guitar. Why are the things that I want most the first that I discard as "not as important" when I'm allocating my time? And when I do get a little time, I'm so overwhelmed by possibilities that I find myself unable to move? What would happen if I took my own deadlines as seriously as I do others? I imagine it would look a lot like that completed jar of tea you made from scratch - so satisfying.
I loved this. Thank you. As for the “eleventh hour,” I liken it somewhat to having a six speed transmission, only we’re missing gears 2 through 5. It takes a lot of work and much revving to get out of first and all the way into sixth. Procrastination and the stress it inevitably produces is one way to generate the necessary RPMs. But when we do manage to jam it into sixth, best get the hell out of our way!
Well put!
I’m new here. The procrastination parts hit rather close to home, as it turns out. But my inspiration to comment is the font you’ve chosen as it’s easy on my surgically repaired retinas. So, thanks for that.
Holy shit I love your brain. Procrastination never felt like a bad thing for me. Clocks melt all around me
My favorite stories have always been about people without many resources making the best of it. The food prep scenes from Little House in the Big Woods and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn still send me into reverie.
I agree about the 'disorder' part being wrong. Same with my diagnosis, ASD. I think neurodivergence is more of a superpower than a deficit.
.... except for so many techbros, incels, megalomaniacs, billionaires who then extend their specialness to enact their inherent entitlement to DOMINATE, disrupt, destroy the lives of other living creatures .... patriarchy, class, gender privilege, misogyny always has to ruin things doesn't it?
Hi Neko. Huge fan since Furnace Room Lullaby. I was one of the drunk idiots at your show at the 7th Street Entry in like 1998 or '99. Youthful indiscretions, etc. ... Anyway, I've been thinking about you and your music a lot recently as I've been reading your memoir. It made me realize that I have devoured and connected with every one of your albums *except* The Worse Things Get ... I didn't dislike it -- it just didn't resonate with me ... until now.
I just finished the book (sorry about that whole Charlie Louvin experience!) and I listened to The Worse Things Get ... all the way through today. It hit me like a ton of bricks (sorry for the cliché -- it's the best way I knew to convey my reaction). I'd say that album is a perfect companion to your memoir -- which I'm guessing is why the book title was culled from that album. (?) Way back in 2013, I was dealing with my own mental health issues and I probably had my defenses up when I listened to it for the first time. I'm happy to say I'm in a better place now, and the perspective I've gained in the last 12 years has helped me approach that album with a different mindset.
I can't count the number of times in the last 24 hours that I've caught my breath while listening to those lyrics and fully realizing for the first time where they came from. I know people laud you for your voice, which obviously is amazing (and FWIW I think The Worse Things Get ... was you at your technical best). But I came away from this whole experience -- reading the book and then listening to the album -- filled with empathy for what you went through, and also filled with admiration for the way you dealt with it all. You have a unique gift of turning pain into beauty without erasing or understating the pain. I'm so glad that reading your book gave me new insight into an album that I once found a bit inscrutable ... but that's just a hint at what your music has meant to me. Thank you for being such an open book (no pun intended), for turning yourself inside out and putting all the viscera on display, in both the memoir and your music. The world is a better place with you doing what you do.
I have ADHD too. I also live in the last five minutes. Lately I’ve just let those minutes slip by, continuing on my journey to accomplishing nothing… successfully. Living in a constant state of chaos is like balancing on top of a barbed wire fence. You are never comfortable enough to succumb to the barbs but can’t escape it by organizing your life. At least that is my world right now. I’m hoping that Spring will bring about the frenzy it usually does for me where I have a million things going at the same time but not finishing any. I do think these types of life choices, or prisons of the mind, can be brought on by trauma… at least in my case. Still I find comfort in reading your posts knowing that I can stand in solidarity with you, completely understanding you, and rooting for you in all things. ❤️
you and me both, sister! Hi from old school Hattie's Hat - Vanessa
Good looking tea, Neko! LOVE the smell of rosemary, it freshens up my Thought Castle.
I feel that to be able to create, I need the luxury of "error" time, not just the time necessary to finish a task, but the extra loose time that allows me to go back and forth on ideas - and that time doesn't exist for me when the world is still happening outside, that's why I create (and even function) better when the outside world is quiet, no external demands, no daily business hours deadlines - so usually past 8pm.
I dont have ADHD but do have similar symptoms from PTSD, it's a hyperalert thing.
I am in dire need of help organizing. I feel like it's a real missing piece for me. I'm trying but there is just SO MUCH to organize. Also that concoction looks great. Recipe? Also, I can't wait to see what your making and I'm dying to know the title of the album. All in good time, I know! xox
Have you heard of the acronym "INCUP"? Motivating factors for people with adhd brains - interest, novelty, challenge, urgency and passion. So procrastination creates urgency and then we're good to go (mostly; depends on what other more interesting, dopamine-inducing activities are competing for my attention, sometimes I'll have to "mine" those extensively first).
Love your "mind palace" analogy. Hi from New Zealand <3
Love “Mind Palace,” stealing this! 💙 Can’t wait to see the artwork!
I stole it too.
And again, Neko, you express thoughts and feelings and experiences that are familiar to me...I always feel a little less alone when I check in with you. Thanks.
Depends on if the task ahead is fun or not fun…in the fun case I just go ahead and continue to do the stuff basically without sleep if possible…if it’s not fun then I’m basically cleaning the house or fixing something. Pretty much avoiding the task until there’s no more time and I have to do it.
That tea looks delicious. I make ginger/tumeric/cardemom milk in the evenings 🤤.
My mom used to do great stuff out of nothing as well! My favourite thing was this ”city” we made out of milk cartons. 😊
Hi Neko, just another interruption in way of reply, one of the things that strikes me about your writing is the strands that connect us all as humans, I find myself nodding in agreement then shaking no that's not like me. I trust in these connections in my core gut centre being. Our family creed was make do, and I do follow that mostly but value tools that actually work, Jenny used to come home and find I had painted the walls or shifted furniture, once the idea hit I just had to do it.
I hope you are loving that warm tea, it's Womad weekend in Adelaide and therefore stinking hot.
My daughter is there tonight and I expect a call to pick her up.
Love your work 🙏
Neko, I love how descriptive you are. Thank you so very much.
This post got me thinking about how I will push myself to meet a deadline for work, but never my own promises to myself - to finally build that garden, or to pick up where I left off on teaching myself guitar. Why are the things that I want most the first that I discard as "not as important" when I'm allocating my time? And when I do get a little time, I'm so overwhelmed by possibilities that I find myself unable to move? What would happen if I took my own deadlines as seriously as I do others? I imagine it would look a lot like that completed jar of tea you made from scratch - so satisfying.