It’s New Year’s Day for those of us who use the Gregorian Calendar. Worldwide, however, there is pretty much a different New Year for every day of the year, and they all fascinate me. You can customize your own New Year and that’s just fine. Sadly, you won’t get to take time off work to celebrate it in America (if you do, anyway...). I have worked way more New Years than not. It has never really gotten to be the champagne hoisting, woo-woo self-reflection this culture advertises. And I don’t want to bring up the “in these times” element, but here we are. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that the concept of New Year’s Day is highly
Yes. We are all a bit overwrought and perpetually sad now aren’t we? I fled from mid NC to the mountains this past spring. Now I want to give everything i own away and buy a van and be like Frances McDormand in Nomadland. I know myself well enough to know I couldn’t hack it for long, especially with three cats. Restlessness is a good thing. It means you’re still alive inside.
Growing up and living poor will definitely mess with your head. I live in a neighborhood full of doctors and professors now and constantly struggle with imposter syndrome. And I constantly worry I'll be homeless and broke next week. I would trade all this in a millisecond for a mountains farm with acreage and solitude. But they made that more expensive than I can afford now too. The system works to keep you insecure so you have to play by its rules. Capitalism was designed that way.
As for wanting to go home, Blind Faith covered that pretty well. One thing I've thought of is going someplace like where I felt most happy, and not going back there, but back to someplace sort of like it and then not be confused by the options or the possibilities. The places I was most happy where either in Germany, in Olympia, and In Worcester, MA.
Might want to re-read Cat's Cradle. "No damn cat and no damn cradle." My Army career got me used to being able to escape. No matter where I was, I knew it wasn't forever, and when I least suspected it, I'd get put someplace. Which would be home for a while...until the next earthquake in my life. Retiring from the Army changed that for me, and I really didn't like being stuck places. If I seemed happy there, I came to realize that there would be change and I wouldn't like it. So, I stole a line from MIchele Shocked and quoted her whenever I'd find me at a Farewell Lunch, "Been real, mostly; been fun, sometimes; been challenging daily. But as M.S. put it , "The secret to a long life is knowing when it's time to leave."
I call this the collective inhale before the storm, leaves hair standing at end. Like petting a cat against the grain, outcome is usually not nice for either.
sending love from chicago, neko. i often wake up hoping to feel any other way than how i feel right now. your words make me feel understood. thanks for this.
Yes. We are all a bit overwrought and perpetually sad now aren’t we? I fled from mid NC to the mountains this past spring. Now I want to give everything i own away and buy a van and be like Frances McDormand in Nomadland. I know myself well enough to know I couldn’t hack it for long, especially with three cats. Restlessness is a good thing. It means you’re still alive inside.
Growing up and living poor will definitely mess with your head. I live in a neighborhood full of doctors and professors now and constantly struggle with imposter syndrome. And I constantly worry I'll be homeless and broke next week. I would trade all this in a millisecond for a mountains farm with acreage and solitude. But they made that more expensive than I can afford now too. The system works to keep you insecure so you have to play by its rules. Capitalism was designed that way.
Oooof! You are not the only one. Good to know I am in good company. Posted this in my blog last night - Zero expectations for 2022. https://queenofdabblin.blogspot.com/2021/12/zero-expectations-for-2022.html
Wow. Prose, poetry, whatever… wonderful words. And a heckuva a shot of your burnt abode. On we go… click your heels together three times.
“I want to go home from this feeling” ZOINKS. YES.
As someone who has started over twice in the last six years, I'm going to need to sit with this one for awhile.
As for wanting to go home, Blind Faith covered that pretty well. One thing I've thought of is going someplace like where I felt most happy, and not going back there, but back to someplace sort of like it and then not be confused by the options or the possibilities. The places I was most happy where either in Germany, in Olympia, and In Worcester, MA.
Might want to re-read Cat's Cradle. "No damn cat and no damn cradle." My Army career got me used to being able to escape. No matter where I was, I knew it wasn't forever, and when I least suspected it, I'd get put someplace. Which would be home for a while...until the next earthquake in my life. Retiring from the Army changed that for me, and I really didn't like being stuck places. If I seemed happy there, I came to realize that there would be change and I wouldn't like it. So, I stole a line from MIchele Shocked and quoted her whenever I'd find me at a Farewell Lunch, "Been real, mostly; been fun, sometimes; been challenging daily. But as M.S. put it , "The secret to a long life is knowing when it's time to leave."
I call this the collective inhale before the storm, leaves hair standing at end. Like petting a cat against the grain, outcome is usually not nice for either.
Thank you, for your thoughts. Much love.
This is so me. Thank you, Neko.
Ha! I wrote about this strangeness of new years as well! Great observations and happy to come across another stack on the love of nature!
sending love from chicago, neko. i often wake up hoping to feel any other way than how i feel right now. your words make me feel understood. thanks for this.
Happy New Year. May you find a way to be free of what you seek to let go of.
Happy New Year Neko, all the best for 2022, xx
Wonderful writing Neko , that turbulent ebb and flow I sometimes feel , out of time and space. Restless but home bound. Thanks