PORKY PIGGIN’ IT IN LONDON

I am trying to make the coffee pod machine in my hotel room work. I’m jet lagged and frustrated. I realize as I turn toward the window that I am also “minge out” to the world. “Hi, London. Sorry…” Where my PJ top ends, my bare lower half begins. An easy mistake right? ADHD plus jet lag can sometimes yield some hilarious, embarrassing disasters. I’m just not firing on any cylinders yet. 

Just ten short hours ago I was running through Newark airport trying to make my flight to London, sweating like a baked potato in my rain jacket and hoodie with a camel’s worth of goods strapped to my body. For the final, excruciating 100 yards I am serenaded by my own voice as a New Pornographers song is blasting out of a long wine bar in the middle of the terminal. I’m laughing, schvitzing and heaving toward the finish line. It’s funny to hear the voices and sounds of my friends as I Chariots-of-Fire my ass up to the ticket scanner, my arm outstretched with the flimsy ticket attached to the end of my sore fingers.

Sore fingers? Yes. In an incredibly bizarre scenario I have recently developed excruciating pain in both my thumbs. It came on suddenly and with the ferocity of a weasel’s clamped jaws. Everyone says I have arthritis. “It’s just part of getting old,” they say. “I AM NOT OLD!” I fume. I vehemently reject this diagnosis, and not because I am in denial, I am very happy to be 54, it’s just that the pain in my thumbs was exactly the same in both. I don’t believe arthritis comes on this way; equal in intensity and balance in two identical, diametrically opposed appendages. It’s not carpal tunnel, I don’t do the repetition required, so what the fuck!? 

Luckily, ManFriendJeff believes me and does some patient research online. It turns out I have been ingesting toxic levels of vitamin B6 (via 2 different supplements) which manifests as pain in the hands or feet or limbs or all of thee above. Article here. The condition is called “Peripheral Neuropathy” and can really fuck you up. I highly recommend reading this article as you can give yourself permanent nerve damage completely by accident by doing something that is “good for you.” You (or even a doctor) may just decide that you have arthritis and be completely wrong, living with pain you needn't. By way of only two supplements; a multi vitamin and a sublingual B12 tincture, I was getting 706% of my daily dose of B6, which is obviously 606% TOO MUCH. As I have only been taking these two supplements a short time my pain has already nearly disappeared since I stopped a day and a half ago, but it can take a lot longer depending on how long you have been “overdosing.” The sublingual B12 only has 118% of the B6 which is ok if taken occasionally, but the multi was off the charts. Magnesium supplements are also said to often have the extra B6 as it helps absorb the magnesium. Good grief… Thanks to ManFriend, I dodged a bullet. I do plan to go to the doctor as well when I get home, but I was floored by how quickly the excruciating pain began to dissipate! If you are taking supplements, do a check of the dosages! There are supplement scams out there, but some info is just new, and everyone reacts differently to things so be careful not to overdo it. 

As I exited heathrow in the dark early morning hours I felt the needle-y rain on my face and let out a sigh of contentment. That “old home” sensation was like a Silkwood shower after being on a flight for 7.5 hours. The driver of my cab put on a classical station and I cracked the window to let the moist air touch my face. I decompressed for the next hour as the grey light began to break over London. It felt like a spa visit. I am here in 2025 ready to fight. Ready to love my sorrows and those of the world right off a cliff. I’m going to do do my utmost to remember to put my pants on. 

I sure do love you. N

Check out the amounts! Yikes!