End of tour is a very confusing time. By the fourth week we are all tired but so dialed in our routine that it is automatic. The music is taking on a life of its own and reaching new highs. Winding down and packing up to leave is confusing and intrudes on our collective harmony. This last tour was so fun and positive I didn’t want to leave. Not wanting to leave was also influenced by the fact that I was not headed home (an unfinished place that I have conflicted feelings about as is…) but to a funeral for my friend and mentor, Dexter.
At Union Pool (Brooklyn) on Friday night, The Sadies (talk about loss) covered Dexter’s Lonely Guy toward the close of their set. Travis is stepping out; great to see.
The ebbs and flows of this river are not always as gentle as they could be. Holding your hand and kissing your forehead from way over here. Love you, and thanks for looking after my gal.
They say that loss is common to the race... Tennyson spent his life wrestling with grief. Last Sunday in Melbourne our dear friend Jeff an expat Irish man was killed by a car standing at a crossing. I'm so angry and devastated and just churned up. To hear your words helps me but doesn't help you. Jeff loved music and was a leader in greening engineering. So much sadness.
Seems I gotten to the age of "more dying than being born". It's hard. As time passes I've noticed that it's the fond memories that reappear most often.
Thanks for sharing some of your energy and artistry with us in Austin. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm about your age and can confirm that it's a real gut punch to start losing friends. Seems like just a couple of years ago and we were all in our 20s and the possibilities were infinite. I had the privilege of going to the Paramount a few days ago for your show with a couple of friends that I have known since the mid 1980s. Thanks for helping us stay connected and continue to make memories together.
As we age, we get more and more of those moments andt hat familiarity doesn't make them easier to deal with. We Irish have the all purpose expression that "I'm sorry for your trouble," which acknowledgese your pain and along with that of the entire world . I wonder if we write and live easier with the hard facts with which we have only a nodding acquaintance as opposed to the more intimate realization and experience that we gather only through living through them.
And as a semi-athlete myself, nothing is a more constant reminder of our own morality so much as a popped rib to add to the alientation from our own experience. Neko, I'm sorry for your trouble. Someone asked me recently what it was I might want to have played by my friends when I wander off
I am so very sorry for your loss. They all are hard, in their own way, but as they seem to start piling up, it gets to be suffocating. Peace & Love to you.
I don't know if it will help you, Neko, but I had a sit-down conversation with Dexter about a month before he died.
He had recently lost his mother, Sally (as well as Sara, Joe, and Luke). He was not looking or feeling well, and I wanted to see what I could do to help. He didn't want Meals on Wheels delivered, even though his mom had never taught him or any of his siblings to cook. He was surviving mostly on microwaved meals.
He didn't want to go see a doctor, even though he admitted that his insides didn't feel good and he had a bleeding ulcer. I even offered to go with him to the doctor's office, but he said no.
He said that he missed Sara and his mom, and everyone else. And then he told me about how Sara kept calling the house after she died, but there was never anyone on the other end of the phone.
And then he jaunted off on to his next gig in Raleigh, with the Vietnamese Espresso I had given him, clutched in his hand.
Dex was a strange cat, and I can't begin to explain him. I just wanted you to know that he had time to contemplate his next move. He wasn't afraid. I (and other people) reached out to him as his time grew short, and he ultimately said he was cool with going out whenever and however it happened. He didn't want to get in the way of whatever was coming next.
I will miss him, too. And we are all super grateful that you came and spoke. It was a difficult day, and his loss will persist in our hearts for a long time. I hope maybe your phone rings sometime and it's him on the other end...
I'm in Australia. We don't know each other. But I wept quietly about Dexter and empathised with your homecoming horror. Thanks for the humanity in all your posts. And hope you've recovered. Kristina
Sometimes, when I lived in NC and was a regular at various Chapel Hill and Carrboro venues, I’d glance at the person next to me, and more than once it was Mr. Romweber. I always just gave him a friendly nod, not wanting to be bothersome, but inside I was screaming something about him being foundational for that scene. I used to live just down the road from Melissa, and though I didn’t know her, I’d see her all over the county in her badass blue Chevy. Glad you got to catch up with friends and am so sorry for what is everyone’s loss. Damn.
Flat Duo Jets kick ass. I did not know you had a connection with them. It's too bad Dexter is gone. I'm sorry to hear of this and of your sadness. We are all thankful he pushed you to become what you are...
Damn. Sorry to learn of Dexter's passing. I was nuts for FLAT DUO JETS. Introduced to them when watching the movie ATHENS, GA INSIDE OUT at a San Diego art house theater. Just about every damn band in that movie blew my mind, especially FDJ.
PYLON was another that really caught my attention. Several years later had the pleasure of seeing them perform here in S D and meeting and chatting after show.
HOUSE OF FREAKS was another two guy band I saw open for MIDNIGHT OIL in late 80s. Could tell most all in the SDSU college ampitheater had no clue who they were. I did though because earlier id read a record review in one of the trades. Was so intrigued I dashed out and bought it. So I was fidgety with anticipation...
Was stunning to see their energy. Drummer Johnny Hott was wearing a sopping drenched clinging shirt by end of set, he'd sweat so damn much. Was a human blur onstage, so furious he beat away on some tunes.
So yep, FLAT DUO JETS, Romweber, Hott and Bryan Harvey made a LOTTA noise. Stomping fun noise...
At Union Pool (Brooklyn) on Friday night, The Sadies (talk about loss) covered Dexter’s Lonely Guy toward the close of their set. Travis is stepping out; great to see.
The ebbs and flows of this river are not always as gentle as they could be. Holding your hand and kissing your forehead from way over here. Love you, and thanks for looking after my gal.
They say that loss is common to the race... Tennyson spent his life wrestling with grief. Last Sunday in Melbourne our dear friend Jeff an expat Irish man was killed by a car standing at a crossing. I'm so angry and devastated and just churned up. To hear your words helps me but doesn't help you. Jeff loved music and was a leader in greening engineering. So much sadness.
Coco you need to make it up asap.
In my heart always Neko.
Love to you Neko — and to all of Dex’s friends ❤️
dammit. so sorry.
Seems I gotten to the age of "more dying than being born". It's hard. As time passes I've noticed that it's the fond memories that reappear most often.
https://youtu.be/Pbh0msGg0wM?si=9_3118SQRLT8vQf0
Hello, Neko. ❤️
Thanks for sharing some of your energy and artistry with us in Austin. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm about your age and can confirm that it's a real gut punch to start losing friends. Seems like just a couple of years ago and we were all in our 20s and the possibilities were infinite. I had the privilege of going to the Paramount a few days ago for your show with a couple of friends that I have known since the mid 1980s. Thanks for helping us stay connected and continue to make memories together.
As we age, we get more and more of those moments andt hat familiarity doesn't make them easier to deal with. We Irish have the all purpose expression that "I'm sorry for your trouble," which acknowledgese your pain and along with that of the entire world . I wonder if we write and live easier with the hard facts with which we have only a nodding acquaintance as opposed to the more intimate realization and experience that we gather only through living through them.
And as a semi-athlete myself, nothing is a more constant reminder of our own morality so much as a popped rib to add to the alientation from our own experience. Neko, I'm sorry for your trouble. Someone asked me recently what it was I might want to have played by my friends when I wander off
I am so very sorry for your loss. They all are hard, in their own way, but as they seem to start piling up, it gets to be suffocating. Peace & Love to you.
Your dog, so cavalier.
I don't know if it will help you, Neko, but I had a sit-down conversation with Dexter about a month before he died.
He had recently lost his mother, Sally (as well as Sara, Joe, and Luke). He was not looking or feeling well, and I wanted to see what I could do to help. He didn't want Meals on Wheels delivered, even though his mom had never taught him or any of his siblings to cook. He was surviving mostly on microwaved meals.
He didn't want to go see a doctor, even though he admitted that his insides didn't feel good and he had a bleeding ulcer. I even offered to go with him to the doctor's office, but he said no.
He said that he missed Sara and his mom, and everyone else. And then he told me about how Sara kept calling the house after she died, but there was never anyone on the other end of the phone.
And then he jaunted off on to his next gig in Raleigh, with the Vietnamese Espresso I had given him, clutched in his hand.
Dex was a strange cat, and I can't begin to explain him. I just wanted you to know that he had time to contemplate his next move. He wasn't afraid. I (and other people) reached out to him as his time grew short, and he ultimately said he was cool with going out whenever and however it happened. He didn't want to get in the way of whatever was coming next.
I will miss him, too. And we are all super grateful that you came and spoke. It was a difficult day, and his loss will persist in our hearts for a long time. I hope maybe your phone rings sometime and it's him on the other end...
I'm in Australia. We don't know each other. But I wept quietly about Dexter and empathised with your homecoming horror. Thanks for the humanity in all your posts. And hope you've recovered. Kristina
Sometimes, when I lived in NC and was a regular at various Chapel Hill and Carrboro venues, I’d glance at the person next to me, and more than once it was Mr. Romweber. I always just gave him a friendly nod, not wanting to be bothersome, but inside I was screaming something about him being foundational for that scene. I used to live just down the road from Melissa, and though I didn’t know her, I’d see her all over the county in her badass blue Chevy. Glad you got to catch up with friends and am so sorry for what is everyone’s loss. Damn.
Flat Duo Jets kick ass. I did not know you had a connection with them. It's too bad Dexter is gone. I'm sorry to hear of this and of your sadness. We are all thankful he pushed you to become what you are...
Damn. Sorry to learn of Dexter's passing. I was nuts for FLAT DUO JETS. Introduced to them when watching the movie ATHENS, GA INSIDE OUT at a San Diego art house theater. Just about every damn band in that movie blew my mind, especially FDJ.
PYLON was another that really caught my attention. Several years later had the pleasure of seeing them perform here in S D and meeting and chatting after show.
HOUSE OF FREAKS was another two guy band I saw open for MIDNIGHT OIL in late 80s. Could tell most all in the SDSU college ampitheater had no clue who they were. I did though because earlier id read a record review in one of the trades. Was so intrigued I dashed out and bought it. So I was fidgety with anticipation...
Was stunning to see their energy. Drummer Johnny Hott was wearing a sopping drenched clinging shirt by end of set, he'd sweat so damn much. Was a human blur onstage, so furious he beat away on some tunes.
So yep, FLAT DUO JETS, Romweber, Hott and Bryan Harvey made a LOTTA noise. Stomping fun noise...