Oof. The honesty in this writing is so beautiful and SO helpful to me right now - it is just what i needed this morning. I know all of these feelings and somehow hearing that you have them too (though I'm sad that you have them too), makes me feel like it's ok that I have them. Maybe such honesty and clarity of feelings/thoughts/spirit, even though it's painful and rageful and feels hopeless sometimes, maybe it means you actually aren't running?
When you’re back around let’s talk about your house situation - my partner is in that world and might be able to help. Although we’re still waiting for the contractor who dropped his ladders at our place in April to show up, so we don’t have a magic formula. I want you to have a home. That grounding and safety is paramount.
Donation made. And now for clarification. AmericanaFest is a BIG deal for some of us fans and of the over 200 artists playing I can say YOU were my krew's favorite performance and even more relevant the TOP name on all the AmericanaFest posters is NEKO CASE. The Anti Records showcase was awesome - the kids are ALRIGHT!
I totally understand your frustration with the contractor but I can't understand where the lot of them get their attitudes towards women. My friend Veronica bought a house down in Long Beach and I went to visit her there while the floors were being redone before she moved in. We walked into the living room and she asked the flooring guy how it was going. He told her it was going pretty well, but they needed to replace a few floorboards because of some staining. He then turned to me and began to explain the options. I wasn't the homeowner, I wasn't the husband, I wasn't even the boyfriend-- I was just a guy who was visiting. I immediately diverted my gaze to Veronica and looked at her until he redirected his attention. WTF dude?
That feeling not being listened to is so incredibly real - especially in the "not even by other women." Early in my time in the videogame industry I thought that no matter what, other women were default allies because we were in that tiny 20% of the male/not male split - only to get absolutely let down and screwed over more than once. The phrase "I'm not like other girls" rings in my head so much as a sign of desperate betrayal, and I feel badly for those who not only feel like they need to use it, but who think that it actually gets them anything to do so.
The positive part is that in getting older and more experienced, I can better recognize true friends and allies, and learn how much of myself to put on the line in what situation. Learning how to walk away is a skill that is taught so much less than how to commit to something, and being able to look at ourselves and see what's actually being taken versus what we mean to give.
Thank you for sharing your anger and vulnerability - it echoes in my heart and I feel like it asks Ellison's question (and one of my favorite quotes) of "who knows but that, on the lower frequencies, I speak for you?"
Also BOOOO to the whole idea of "what have you released lately" and the idea that constant production is everything that makes us worthwhile (...she says, still being self-conscious about when the last game she released was...) I have seen SO MANY content creators lately say they need a break and they're burnt out, because the culture of production and demand is so utterly ravenous. But it feels like an illusion too, because those who actually feel spoken to will understand and stick around through the dry spells and hard times, because they see one as a PERSON and not just a button to hit to be entertained. I know for my part, whenever you come near Seattle, I ABSOLUTELY want to go see your show, and I'll be damn happy to hear whatever you've got to say and sing. :)
First, thank you for sharing the story of your anger. I too sometimes get “coffee and phone throwing mad” and feel like I must be the only woman who gets that mad still, into her fifties. I appreciate that I’m not the only one. Second, I was supposed to see you in STL but after years of avoiding it, Covid finally got me. I was able to give my tickets to a friend who I know loved the show. Looking forward to seeing and hearing you again.
I’m virtually holding your hand. Have I sent you a picture of my latest tattoo? It simply says “Honey, you’re safe.” (In Caroline Herrera font.) Thinking of you and my girl on the road together… Loved this post!
It's dreary and gray here in the DC area this morn and I have been feeling some mid-life flatness this month. Just wondering if I need a change or a pivot all while the world is on fire and we are holding our breath until November. What is getting me through is knowing I will see you on 10/9 at the Strathmore. I cannot wait to hear your voice and your ethereal tunes in that venue. I am bringing along three of my favorite people to hear you - none of them know your music and that is about the change. Your music is a soundtrack to so many highs and lows in my own story. I Wish I Was the Moon is a kind of anthem. Keep going Neko! I'm waiting for you in MD. xo
Heck yes. I’m pro throwing coffee at drywall and being vulnerable all at once. That’s what my dog often does (belly rubbin’ roll minus coffee and stuff). They are the best guides. I’ve been having lots of conversations in my therapy group this week about not feeling heard. Where I find it is when I sing and play w / other folks. Booked a self vaca out in Mesa, AZ to hang with some river sipping wild horses. Play on, fine human. Paws up for Neko over here 🎶🐾
Neko you've been a fixture in my life since a good friend gifted me Furnace Room Lullaby. The truth in your music has been with me through my own fits of fury, imposter BS, and the instability of many moves around the country and the world. For decades my dad and I have exchanged mix tapes and now playlists that are almost like a conversation of the feelings we don't express (we are good Midwesterners after all...), and your songs have been featured on more than a few of mine over the years. I brought my dad to your show last week, he's a music lover but due to chronic pain he doesn't go to many shows anymore. He loved it and thought your voice was so special - it meant a lot to him to see an artist that has had such an impact on my life too. His favorite song was Wish I Was the Moon, also one of my faves. So, thank you for coming to STL and, as you always have, putting on a fabulous show with your amazing band. Come back soon!
Thank you for your words, I feel so validated that anger is OK, and that someone as awesome as you could have imposter syndrome. Yes, i have thrown a coffee pot across the kitchen, screamed, cried and then cleaned it up. I also scream when I'm driving and that is wonder.
Yes, I do not feel heard, its mostly men, but women as well. I believe the dahli lama said, "I love you. I am listening. " that is my mantra.
I love your music so much, your music, your voice, everything, is a safe place for me. Your music has gotten me through so many difficult times, you have no idea how much you've helped me, just by listening to your words. Your lyrics have made me feel that someone is listening to me. That you understand me and that you get me. I want you to feel that as well.
I don’t know if this sounds the same to you as it did to me, but one of the fantastic Temporary Friends I met before the show told me it was her first time seeing you live.
I told her it was only my 2nd, and that the first time I saw you it was seated (I prefer standing) and also I didn’t really see much because I wear glasses and my Covid mask made everything foggy. I didn’t care that much because I was there to listen, not look. Anyway, this 20 year old actually said to me “I have been *studying* her for two years.”
Studying! I was so impressed that I invited her and her friend to stand in front of me, so they were right up on the edge of the stage.
They were both in tears at several points during the show, and we all just swayed to the music. One of them told me afterwards “I was trying not to cry but I couldn’t help it.”
I let her know that I thought it was a lovely thing, to be so touched by your work. Let it out!
I know it doesn’t get you a home ~ but not only are the young ‘uns listening, they are studying!
Neko, your St. Louis show was amazing! The music was wonderful. You cracked me up with your story about long hair.
Also, this may sound weird, but I love when musicians mess up a little bit when playing live. In this case I think it was Paul but I don't remember exactly. It makes the musicians seem more human and makes the performance feel more alive to me. And that human connection is one of the main reasons I love live music.
Travelled from VT for Americanafest. Saw you at the Basement East, whew it was hot in there! You were one of the highlights for our week, so don't question your relevance. I was thrilled that you started with my favorite song of yours-Hell On. I love the threatening tone of Mother Nature in that tune. Such a refreshing and unexpected viewpoint. Keep on.
Oof. The honesty in this writing is so beautiful and SO helpful to me right now - it is just what i needed this morning. I know all of these feelings and somehow hearing that you have them too (though I'm sad that you have them too), makes me feel like it's ok that I have them. Maybe such honesty and clarity of feelings/thoughts/spirit, even though it's painful and rageful and feels hopeless sometimes, maybe it means you actually aren't running?
When you’re back around let’s talk about your house situation - my partner is in that world and might be able to help. Although we’re still waiting for the contractor who dropped his ladders at our place in April to show up, so we don’t have a magic formula. I want you to have a home. That grounding and safety is paramount.
Donation made. And now for clarification. AmericanaFest is a BIG deal for some of us fans and of the over 200 artists playing I can say YOU were my krew's favorite performance and even more relevant the TOP name on all the AmericanaFest posters is NEKO CASE. The Anti Records showcase was awesome - the kids are ALRIGHT!
I totally understand your frustration with the contractor but I can't understand where the lot of them get their attitudes towards women. My friend Veronica bought a house down in Long Beach and I went to visit her there while the floors were being redone before she moved in. We walked into the living room and she asked the flooring guy how it was going. He told her it was going pretty well, but they needed to replace a few floorboards because of some staining. He then turned to me and began to explain the options. I wasn't the homeowner, I wasn't the husband, I wasn't even the boyfriend-- I was just a guy who was visiting. I immediately diverted my gaze to Veronica and looked at her until he redirected his attention. WTF dude?
Girrrrl....you are Neko Fucking Case! You're Amazing. Can't wait to see you in Columbus!
That feeling not being listened to is so incredibly real - especially in the "not even by other women." Early in my time in the videogame industry I thought that no matter what, other women were default allies because we were in that tiny 20% of the male/not male split - only to get absolutely let down and screwed over more than once. The phrase "I'm not like other girls" rings in my head so much as a sign of desperate betrayal, and I feel badly for those who not only feel like they need to use it, but who think that it actually gets them anything to do so.
The positive part is that in getting older and more experienced, I can better recognize true friends and allies, and learn how much of myself to put on the line in what situation. Learning how to walk away is a skill that is taught so much less than how to commit to something, and being able to look at ourselves and see what's actually being taken versus what we mean to give.
Thank you for sharing your anger and vulnerability - it echoes in my heart and I feel like it asks Ellison's question (and one of my favorite quotes) of "who knows but that, on the lower frequencies, I speak for you?"
Also BOOOO to the whole idea of "what have you released lately" and the idea that constant production is everything that makes us worthwhile (...she says, still being self-conscious about when the last game she released was...) I have seen SO MANY content creators lately say they need a break and they're burnt out, because the culture of production and demand is so utterly ravenous. But it feels like an illusion too, because those who actually feel spoken to will understand and stick around through the dry spells and hard times, because they see one as a PERSON and not just a button to hit to be entertained. I know for my part, whenever you come near Seattle, I ABSOLUTELY want to go see your show, and I'll be damn happy to hear whatever you've got to say and sing. :)
First, thank you for sharing the story of your anger. I too sometimes get “coffee and phone throwing mad” and feel like I must be the only woman who gets that mad still, into her fifties. I appreciate that I’m not the only one. Second, I was supposed to see you in STL but after years of avoiding it, Covid finally got me. I was able to give my tickets to a friend who I know loved the show. Looking forward to seeing and hearing you again.
I’m virtually holding your hand. Have I sent you a picture of my latest tattoo? It simply says “Honey, you’re safe.” (In Caroline Herrera font.) Thinking of you and my girl on the road together… Loved this post!
It's dreary and gray here in the DC area this morn and I have been feeling some mid-life flatness this month. Just wondering if I need a change or a pivot all while the world is on fire and we are holding our breath until November. What is getting me through is knowing I will see you on 10/9 at the Strathmore. I cannot wait to hear your voice and your ethereal tunes in that venue. I am bringing along three of my favorite people to hear you - none of them know your music and that is about the change. Your music is a soundtrack to so many highs and lows in my own story. I Wish I Was the Moon is a kind of anthem. Keep going Neko! I'm waiting for you in MD. xo
Heck yes. I’m pro throwing coffee at drywall and being vulnerable all at once. That’s what my dog often does (belly rubbin’ roll minus coffee and stuff). They are the best guides. I’ve been having lots of conversations in my therapy group this week about not feeling heard. Where I find it is when I sing and play w / other folks. Booked a self vaca out in Mesa, AZ to hang with some river sipping wild horses. Play on, fine human. Paws up for Neko over here 🎶🐾
Neko you've been a fixture in my life since a good friend gifted me Furnace Room Lullaby. The truth in your music has been with me through my own fits of fury, imposter BS, and the instability of many moves around the country and the world. For decades my dad and I have exchanged mix tapes and now playlists that are almost like a conversation of the feelings we don't express (we are good Midwesterners after all...), and your songs have been featured on more than a few of mine over the years. I brought my dad to your show last week, he's a music lover but due to chronic pain he doesn't go to many shows anymore. He loved it and thought your voice was so special - it meant a lot to him to see an artist that has had such an impact on my life too. His favorite song was Wish I Was the Moon, also one of my faves. So, thank you for coming to STL and, as you always have, putting on a fabulous show with your amazing band. Come back soon!
Thank you for your words, I feel so validated that anger is OK, and that someone as awesome as you could have imposter syndrome. Yes, i have thrown a coffee pot across the kitchen, screamed, cried and then cleaned it up. I also scream when I'm driving and that is wonder.
Yes, I do not feel heard, its mostly men, but women as well. I believe the dahli lama said, "I love you. I am listening. " that is my mantra.
I love your music so much, your music, your voice, everything, is a safe place for me. Your music has gotten me through so many difficult times, you have no idea how much you've helped me, just by listening to your words. Your lyrics have made me feel that someone is listening to me. That you understand me and that you get me. I want you to feel that as well.
I love you. I am listening.
Be kind to yourself.
I don’t know if this sounds the same to you as it did to me, but one of the fantastic Temporary Friends I met before the show told me it was her first time seeing you live.
I told her it was only my 2nd, and that the first time I saw you it was seated (I prefer standing) and also I didn’t really see much because I wear glasses and my Covid mask made everything foggy. I didn’t care that much because I was there to listen, not look. Anyway, this 20 year old actually said to me “I have been *studying* her for two years.”
Studying! I was so impressed that I invited her and her friend to stand in front of me, so they were right up on the edge of the stage.
They were both in tears at several points during the show, and we all just swayed to the music. One of them told me afterwards “I was trying not to cry but I couldn’t help it.”
I let her know that I thought it was a lovely thing, to be so touched by your work. Let it out!
I know it doesn’t get you a home ~ but not only are the young ‘uns listening, they are studying!
Donation made. Neko, please consider a GFM for your house. I feel sure that most of us here would love to support the rebuilding of your home.
Definitely!
Neko, your St. Louis show was amazing! The music was wonderful. You cracked me up with your story about long hair.
Also, this may sound weird, but I love when musicians mess up a little bit when playing live. In this case I think it was Paul but I don't remember exactly. It makes the musicians seem more human and makes the performance feel more alive to me. And that human connection is one of the main reasons I love live music.
Travelled from VT for Americanafest. Saw you at the Basement East, whew it was hot in there! You were one of the highlights for our week, so don't question your relevance. I was thrilled that you started with my favorite song of yours-Hell On. I love the threatening tone of Mother Nature in that tune. Such a refreshing and unexpected viewpoint. Keep on.