I figured I’d walk right back into my life easily post-Florida visit and 3.5 week tour. Nope. My body is hitched up and sore. How do I never learn this? It’s amazing how beat up you can feel from traveling even if you DO yoga every day and train for it. It’s the worry, I suppose. The reminder of the lack of control you have when you work away from home.
Oh that knot, the not gonna do it knots! They remind me of the adversarial feelings of blackberry thickets when I was a gardener in Seattle. Me. A pair of loppers and a hillside of never ending thorny canes. Honestly, sometimes I thought a can of gasoline and a flame thrower was THE way. But critters live in the thickets so I'd take it chunk by chunk, walking away when I was bloodied enough and take a break and come back, repeating that process. But those blackberries NEVER die. So very much like the mind, the knots of life maybe. So I take breaks and play with dogs, drink water, look at the bigger picture, take a breath and return when ready. And always wear leather gloves and long sleeves!
Make something with your hands. Start doing polymer clay. Watch a few YouTube videos and see how addicting it is. It totally relaxes your mind because you’re in Flow
For me propably doing something that I need to concentrate on...whether it is building legos or knitting and counting the rows. I’m on day two of my winter break and my mind is still busy with work stuff, my brain wants to wake up at 6am but my body is saying ”noooooo, sleep two more hours!!!” Today is supposed to be sunny so maybe I go ice skating 😊
I'm SO glad Chet is doing better! Hurray for cat friends.
The knot... I wish I had the solution. I think, unfortunately, trauma brain is damn near impossible to get rid of once it's gotten in there. Everything that happens re-traumatizes you and keeps all your nerves on end, hyper aware of your surroundings even when "relaxed". Other people are blissfully unaware of the dangers around them at all times, but we, we hear every little rustle and door shutting, every footstep behind us, every movement in our periphery. My strategy is to just become one with it. I'm isolated, quiet, strange to normal people... but I'm also prepared, resourceful, creative, and animals love me. So, I chill with them most of the time, I make sure their important little lives are comfortable, happy, secure. Sometimes other humans come through, the ones I've known for 20 years and trust, and that's nice for a while until they move on. I try to not be crushed by all the badness and sadness of the world. I listen to music, yours is what calms me the most. Thanks for that. 🖤
Neko my advice is only telling you what you already know, as the mindful mantras flow and invite you take your gaze from the intricacies of the knot and give permission to yourself to be disinterested in always having to untie knots, this may be the advice repeating itself. I'm always pondering the whys and why nots and that just tightens my knot.
I think of Chet who was in pain as you so distressingly described defaulting to his impish self, he embraces his inner trickster, and you are the knot wrangler. Swap roles with him for a day and play!
Thank you for sharing so openly it helps me if nothing else to hear you sing and play.
Welcome home, even for a short time! Your sacrifices for your art and for us is appreciated. Thank you especially for the Cayamo experience. You were out of this world amazing. Please consider it again. The session with Patty and Mary (and Jaime and Nora) was spot on. The journey is real - your perception and thoughtfulness is refreshing. You help the rest of us be better humans! Peace
Absolutely no offense to Chet, but I can only so strongly recommend adding a dachshund/wiener dog to your repertoire. Mentally and physically these little buddies are pure healing love. Otherwise, brains, muscles, and joints just keep gettin' tighter and tighter. It's why I can't totally give up bourbon. Just a touch here and there, long walks, and George the wiener. I guess we all have our methods. I hope it all loosens up and you wake up feeling GREAT! (or close enough!)
right there with you! i'm home for a few days before i get back on the road for book tour. currently blobbing out on my couch with the critters, looking at my phone, catching up on emails. blobbbbb!
I have no answer to how to untangle the Gordian knot. (Neither did anyone else, till Alexander came along.) But your photo led me to reflect how odd it is that some things have names, but other things only have descriptions. In front of me are a pencil and an eraser. The word "pencil" doesn't describe what it does; it's just a name for a thing. The word "eraser" isn't a name, it's just a description: thing that erases. "Fire extinguisher" - there's no other word for that, right? They don't have a name, they just have a description. You'd think there'd be a name, preferably something fast to say: "yikes, the rug is on fire, go get the dinkel". But I've never heard them referred to as anything other than "fire extinguisher".
Good Luck with the new work (" the hardest work of my life"). I can't put down the busy, but trying to start with getting things in some kind of order, and accepting there's a ton of projects I won't get to today. Then stopping for a break ( and coffee, though it should be green tea!) and reflecting on how fortunate I am to have so many interests that I enjoy. Recent visits with old friends seem to have brought that into focus, because unfortunately, they are struggling with boredom and frustration. For me, there aren't enough hours in the day to get projects done. Been told that my Virgo perfectionist traits are extreme and negatively affect completing things, so I'm working on that too! Happy Chet is doing well!!
When I’m starting some new hard thing, I can’t relax, either. But for me, that’s good. The relaxation can turn to indolence and avoidance. So that I don’t freak out from stress, I usually start a fun low stakes project wholly unrelated to the Big Thing. It pulls me out of the high stakes drama. Bad example: decided to make friends with all the stray cats (they love me, but I got ringworm). Good example: decided to try making naturally leavened bread (took 2 months but worth it).
To completely unplug, my wife takes an annual retreat to Gilchrist in MI and stays in one of their little cottages, away from people and our everyday "stuff". She takes very little with her, and says she spends the first days just sleeping. :-) "These special spaces invite reflection; foster community and wellbeing; and encourage a deeper sense of connection with ourselves, our many communities, and our planet." https://fetzer.org/work/retreat-facilities
Oh that knot, the not gonna do it knots! They remind me of the adversarial feelings of blackberry thickets when I was a gardener in Seattle. Me. A pair of loppers and a hillside of never ending thorny canes. Honestly, sometimes I thought a can of gasoline and a flame thrower was THE way. But critters live in the thickets so I'd take it chunk by chunk, walking away when I was bloodied enough and take a break and come back, repeating that process. But those blackberries NEVER die. So very much like the mind, the knots of life maybe. So I take breaks and play with dogs, drink water, look at the bigger picture, take a breath and return when ready. And always wear leather gloves and long sleeves!
Naps
Make something with your hands. Start doing polymer clay. Watch a few YouTube videos and see how addicting it is. It totally relaxes your mind because you’re in Flow
For me propably doing something that I need to concentrate on...whether it is building legos or knitting and counting the rows. I’m on day two of my winter break and my mind is still busy with work stuff, my brain wants to wake up at 6am but my body is saying ”noooooo, sleep two more hours!!!” Today is supposed to be sunny so maybe I go ice skating 😊
So happy Chet is better. Hugs! 🧡🧡🧡
I'm SO glad Chet is doing better! Hurray for cat friends.
The knot... I wish I had the solution. I think, unfortunately, trauma brain is damn near impossible to get rid of once it's gotten in there. Everything that happens re-traumatizes you and keeps all your nerves on end, hyper aware of your surroundings even when "relaxed". Other people are blissfully unaware of the dangers around them at all times, but we, we hear every little rustle and door shutting, every footstep behind us, every movement in our periphery. My strategy is to just become one with it. I'm isolated, quiet, strange to normal people... but I'm also prepared, resourceful, creative, and animals love me. So, I chill with them most of the time, I make sure their important little lives are comfortable, happy, secure. Sometimes other humans come through, the ones I've known for 20 years and trust, and that's nice for a while until they move on. I try to not be crushed by all the badness and sadness of the world. I listen to music, yours is what calms me the most. Thanks for that. 🖤
Neko my advice is only telling you what you already know, as the mindful mantras flow and invite you take your gaze from the intricacies of the knot and give permission to yourself to be disinterested in always having to untie knots, this may be the advice repeating itself. I'm always pondering the whys and why nots and that just tightens my knot.
I think of Chet who was in pain as you so distressingly described defaulting to his impish self, he embraces his inner trickster, and you are the knot wrangler. Swap roles with him for a day and play!
Thank you for sharing so openly it helps me if nothing else to hear you sing and play.
Welcome home, even for a short time! Your sacrifices for your art and for us is appreciated. Thank you especially for the Cayamo experience. You were out of this world amazing. Please consider it again. The session with Patty and Mary (and Jaime and Nora) was spot on. The journey is real - your perception and thoughtfulness is refreshing. You help the rest of us be better humans! Peace
Absolutely no offense to Chet, but I can only so strongly recommend adding a dachshund/wiener dog to your repertoire. Mentally and physically these little buddies are pure healing love. Otherwise, brains, muscles, and joints just keep gettin' tighter and tighter. It's why I can't totally give up bourbon. Just a touch here and there, long walks, and George the wiener. I guess we all have our methods. I hope it all loosens up and you wake up feeling GREAT! (or close enough!)
right there with you! i'm home for a few days before i get back on the road for book tour. currently blobbing out on my couch with the critters, looking at my phone, catching up on emails. blobbbbb!
Florida! And the other kind of bird - the snow variety. Which is probably what you’re experiencing by now. Snow that is. Hope it’s not thermal shock!
Is there a state you haven’t lived in? Wisconsin maybe 🤔
I have no answer to how to untangle the Gordian knot. (Neither did anyone else, till Alexander came along.) But your photo led me to reflect how odd it is that some things have names, but other things only have descriptions. In front of me are a pencil and an eraser. The word "pencil" doesn't describe what it does; it's just a name for a thing. The word "eraser" isn't a name, it's just a description: thing that erases. "Fire extinguisher" - there's no other word for that, right? They don't have a name, they just have a description. You'd think there'd be a name, preferably something fast to say: "yikes, the rug is on fire, go get the dinkel". But I've never heard them referred to as anything other than "fire extinguisher".
Good Luck with the new work (" the hardest work of my life"). I can't put down the busy, but trying to start with getting things in some kind of order, and accepting there's a ton of projects I won't get to today. Then stopping for a break ( and coffee, though it should be green tea!) and reflecting on how fortunate I am to have so many interests that I enjoy. Recent visits with old friends seem to have brought that into focus, because unfortunately, they are struggling with boredom and frustration. For me, there aren't enough hours in the day to get projects done. Been told that my Virgo perfectionist traits are extreme and negatively affect completing things, so I'm working on that too! Happy Chet is doing well!!
Naps.
Sometimes I can't, but I hope you will be able to, right now.
You are seen and heard. Hoping for your success.
When I’m starting some new hard thing, I can’t relax, either. But for me, that’s good. The relaxation can turn to indolence and avoidance. So that I don’t freak out from stress, I usually start a fun low stakes project wholly unrelated to the Big Thing. It pulls me out of the high stakes drama. Bad example: decided to make friends with all the stray cats (they love me, but I got ringworm). Good example: decided to try making naturally leavened bread (took 2 months but worth it).
To completely unplug, my wife takes an annual retreat to Gilchrist in MI and stays in one of their little cottages, away from people and our everyday "stuff". She takes very little with her, and says she spends the first days just sleeping. :-) "These special spaces invite reflection; foster community and wellbeing; and encourage a deeper sense of connection with ourselves, our many communities, and our planet." https://fetzer.org/work/retreat-facilities